STUPID STUFF (2007 Version)

As we go about our daily lives we see and hear a lot of things that are just plain stupid! At the risk of being cynical, over the past week I’ve jotted a few of them down. Remember, these are my personal opinions, no more, no less.

Stupid Slogan: The prominent law firm of Robins, Kaplin, Miller, and Cirisi, LLP has a registered trademark for its slogan, “We don’t just practice law, we make history.” They cite several major victories on behalf of their clients, including large settlements against Microsoft and tobacco companies, the Bhopal India suit against Union Carbide, and the Dalcon Shield case. These are big cases, for sure, but several large law firms can lay claim to multi-million dollar settlements on behalf of their clients. My point is, they’re darned good lawyers, but it may be an overstatement on their part to say they’re “making history.” I’m not sure I want my lawyer to make history. I think I’ll just settle for one who can handle my legal needs. On second thought, if RKMC, LLP really wants to make history, maybe they can settle the middle-east crisis!

Stupid Bumper Sticker: The other day I saw a bumper sticker that showed a motorcycle next to a car. The sticker read, “Motorcycles Have Equal Rights”. This sticker is stupid for two reasons. First, a motorcycle is an inanimate object and I wasn’t aware that inanimate objects have rights. I don’t think my frying pan has rights and I’m pretty sure my pipe wrench doesn’t have rights. Second, if you’re riding a motorcycle and you have the “right of way” at an intersection and a 4,000 pound Buick decides to go first, I’d suggest that you not “insist” on your legal rights but to instead wait for the Buick. Your “rights” don’t mean much if you collide with the Buick. The lesson: when life and death are concerned, never put your rights ahead of anything bigger or faster than you!

Stupid Answer: The other day I was listening to Minnesota Public Radio (one of my most fertile sources of stupid stuff) while they were interviewing Tom Dooher, the new president of the labor union that represents Minnesota public school teachers. The Teacher’s Union, which used to be called the Minnesota Education Association (MEA), now calls itself “Education Minnesota”. I’m sure that Tom Dooher is a nice guy. I’d probably get along great with him if he were my next-door neighbor. Like other teachers who labor in Minnesota’s government schools, as long as class sizes are low enough and pay and benefits are high enough, he probably does like kids. However, when asked by MPR’s Cathy Wurzer why he chose to run for the office of President of the teacher’s union (Education Minnesota), the first words out of his mouth were: “My grandfather was a teamster and he was murdered in his own back yard.” Good start, Tom. It’s all about kids!

Stupid Sign: People from other states have to wonder what the heck is going on in Minnesota when they walk into businesses and public buildings and see signs like, “The Minnesota Twins Baseball Club Bans Guns in these Premises,” or “Historic Theatre Group Bans Buns in these Premises”. These signs are the result of some verbiage in the Minnesota Carry Permit Law. When they see the signs, folks who are legally carrying guns will be reminded to put them in the glove compartment before they enter these posted establishments. Of course, those who are carrying guns illegally and have intention to do harm won’t pay attention to the sign anyway! Murder, robbery and rape are also illegal on these premises, but we don’t need a sign to tell us. These Minnesota gun signs are not only stupid, but they make me feel a bit unsafe. I’d feel a lot more secure if I saw a sign on the door that said; ”Inside this Premises we’re all packing heat!”

Stupid Idea: Many of the same folks in Congress that are calling attention to the disgraceful state of Walter Reed Army Hospital and other federal medical centers serving our Veterans want the Government to run our entire health care system. Face it; the Federal Government screws up almost everything it touches. To put the health care system in the hands of the Federal government is a very bad idea. If we want to “fix” health care we need to de-regulate much of the medical establishment and institute caps on medical malpractice claims. That’s another blog for another day.

Stupid Vote: Almost all politics is stupid, but the latest vote by the both House and Senate to put a deadline on US involvement in Iraq borders not only on stupidity but perhaps treason. Our troops in the field are sick of politicians saying that they support them but don’t support their mission. In my opinion when our soldiers are in harms way efforts to micromanage the war in Congress not only embolden the enemy, they also demoralize our young men and women serving in Iraq. With politicians, “political points” matter most, unfortunately even more than the lives of our brave young soldiers.

Well, folks, it’s off to another week. Get our your note pads! If there is something that you think is incredibly stupid, just post your comment on this blog. One thing is for certain; stupidity seems to be the only commodity for which there is an endless supply!

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One Response to STUPID STUFF (2007 Version)

  1. How long do you spend a day coming up with stuff like this?

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