I thought that you might want to know how some of your favorite Hubbard, Wisconsin natives are doing this New Year. Here’s a brief update.

Marcus Harnack has finished his fall semester at Hubbard State University. Thanks to an array of loans, grants and scholarships Marcus was enrolled full-time, majoring in engineering. His grade point after the first semester is 4.00. He has yet to receive a “B” in college. The general education courses such as psychology and English are not as interesting to Marcus, who prefers courses in math and the sciences. Working weekends at the foundry, Marcus has been able to pick up a little extra spending money and has found that college life isn’t bad at all. He doesn’t have as much money to throw around on luxuries, but that’s fine because he spends a great deal of time studying. He has applied for a research assistant position in the Chemistry department for the next school year. The chemistry professor told Marcus that he was a “shoe-in” to get the job, which will pay him an additional $4,200 a year.

Susan Johnson has moved out of her home, leaving her husband Craig to look after the kids. She’s hired an attorney to assist her with the divorce proceedings and he has assured her that she will get permanent custody of her children and will be allowed to move back into the house, regardless of the fact that she committed adultery. Her attorney’s exact words were: “When it’s all said and done, you’ll be back in the house and your Craig will be on the street.” Meanwhile, Susan has moved in with her sister and family, assuring them that her situation is “temporary.” She hasn’t seen or heard from Bill Haley since Craig found out about her indiscretion.

Jose Gonazales phoned Renaldo who was able to use his contacts to bring up additional workers from Mexico to work for Gonzales construction. Their documentation is phony and Jose knows it, but he’s got a big job to finish at the Hubbard Community Hospital and is behind on the construction of some four-unit apartment buildings on the west side of town. The illegal Mexican workers are a breath of fresh air. They work from early morning till evening, never complaining and eager to learn the new skills that Jose’s foremen are teaching them. A couple of weeks ago immigration authorities raided a pork processing plant just a few miles up the road, arresting over 100 illegals. Between worrying about being caught hiring the new (illegal) workers and not finishing his projects on time, Jose isn’t sleeping well at night. Lovely Angela, seeing him struggle, strokes his salt and pepper hair as he lays on his pillow saying, “It’s OK, baby. Everything will come out all right. God didn’t bring us this far to let us down now.”

Bill and Betty Harnack will have Christmas dinner as usual on Monday with their two sons. Their youngest son, Timmy, is now in middle school and is always thrilled to see his big brother Marcus. Timmy is a little perturbed with his father, who promised to take Timmy to the next packer game with he and Marcus. The problem is that Bill and Marcus didn’t make their annual trip to Lambeau field this year. Coupled with Marcus’ busy schedule and the fact that, as Timmy states it, “The Packers just suck!” the Harnacks decided to save their precious ticket money for another year.

Unity Wilson is in Minnesota for Christmas visiting her sister, Serenity. Both Unity and Serenity are thrilled that George Bush and the republicans lost to the democrats in the fall elections. Unity and Serenity are unified in their wishes for an immediate US withdrawal from Iraq, direct negotiations with both North Korea’s Kim Jung Il and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, a 100% increase on the income tax of all Americans making more than $100,000 per year, complete free and universal health care for all Americans, free tuition and fees for all students attending college, the immediate shut-down of all coal-burning power plants, and the assurance that the word “God” will be stricken from all currency and government buildings in the United States. It is also rumored that both Unity and Serenity have contributed funds to make sure that Osama Bin Laden can have a kidney transplant as soon as possible. According to Serenity, “Osama isn’t a terrorist; he’s just a freedom-fighter.” Unity has told Serenity that she should get a hybrid car to help the environment but Serenity can’t afford it on her wages at the Natural Foods Coop.

Sachin and Smita have gone to Chicago’s “little India” near Western Avenue and Devon Street to visit Smita’s father, Mukesh. Even though Christmas is not a Hindu holiday, it is an official holiday in both the United States and India so they have decided to spend it with family. Rumor has it that Smita has some very good news for her father! Likewise, Mayor Marsha Lipper-Daley has gone back to the windy city for a few days to visit her Mother and Father. Rumor has it that Marsha’s father had a good year in the investment banking business, with some of his employees receiving bonuses in six figures. He usually puts a new Lexus and about $250,000 in Marsha’s Christmas stocking each year, but having such a fantastic 2006, Marsha is hoping that Pops might even “add a zero” to her normal Christmas windfall.

Dave has been missing for quite a while. Some say he has gone to China for a couple of months. Others say he is in Thailand or Singapore. Still others swear that he has a girlfriend in Polynesia. The only thing folks know for sure is that Dave left a note on the garage in his distinct handwriting saying that he would be back to fire up the old pot-belly stove for his evening political round table on Tuesday, January 9th, 2007.